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10 evangelical puzzles

Michael Bentley, retired pastor of Great Hollands Free Church, Bracknell, writes:

Since I have retired from the pastorate and now preach in many different churches, I have noticed some things that puzzle me about evangelical churches

1. Why do the rear seats in a church get taken first?

2. Why do worshippers fill up all of the end seats and only leave three seats in the middle of the rows so that a visiting family of four or more has to split up?

3. Why do congregations remain seated while the first line of a hymn or song is played through, and then slowly get to their feet as they start to sing?

4. Why do the churches have 'All are welcome' on their notice board, yet leave visitors standing on their own at the end of the service, while the church members get into huddles to make arrangements for church outreach activities?

5. Why do churches publish photographs of their congregations that show many empty pews at the front and a few people scattered around the back and at the edges?

6. Why do churches leave Christmas posters on display until nearly Easter?

7. Why do churches have a large clock placed where the preacher can't see it, but the congregation can?

8. Why do the hands of clocks inside evangelical churches move very slowly when viewed by the congregation, but very rapidly when glanced at by the preacher?

9. Why do some church members object when people raise their hands during a rousing hymn or song, yet they, themselves, slouch with their hands in their pockets while they are singing?

10. When the front row of chairs remains empty during a church service, why do latecomers get out more chairs and put them behind the back row?