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 PrintableVersion Marriage-Lite - The rise of cohabitation and its consequencesCo-hab?MARRIAGE-LITE Patricia Morgan's book explains that cohabitation is becoming increasingly more popular than marriage, but yet it does not provide the security and stability of marriage. Although not written from a Christian point of view, Patricia Morgan is quite radical in her thinking by advocating that the benefits of marriage far outweigh the so-called 'freedom' of living together without any commitments. To back up her arguments, the book uses information from research undertaken on cohabitation and the effect it has on people's lives. It is not merely the view of the author but that of people in cohabiting relationships. The thorough research uses not only surveys from this country but also the United States and Australia. The book starts by looking at who wants to cohabit and why, and then digs deeper into why the cohabiting relationship is such a fragile one. Research shows that the most striking fact about cohabitation is that it tends to be short-lived. Fewer than 4% of cohabiting unions last ten years or more. Patricia Morgan finds that cohabitation does not free people from the demands of marriage. In the US, cohabitants experience more disagreements, have lower levels of happiness and there is a higher rate of violence than their married counterparts - not a good advertisement at all! Cohabitants have more health problems, and are more likely to suffer depression than married people. In a separate survey undertaken, only 43% of couples who cohabited felt 'secure' or 'very secure' in their informal relationships compared to 91% of married couples. It is also interesting to note that the pattern of men's behaviour, in particular, changes according to whether they are married or not. Men tend to work harder when they marry and men who cohabit will still act as a single person even when they have children. The book also looks at how cohabitation affects children. Existing cohabitations with children tend to break up at four to five-fold the rate of marriages. The children of cohabiting couples do less well at school and they are at significantly higher risk of child abuse through stepfathers, or 'live-in' and visiting boyfriends. Patricia Morgan puts forward the argument that families underpinned by lifelong commitment provide the most stable environment for children to grow up in. There is a chapter in the book on why we should discriminate against cohabitation and why public policy should actually do more to promote marriage. As the law stands people who cohabit do not have the same legal rights as married people. Patricia Morgan argues that to make marriage and cohabitation in effect the same legally would not be helpful at all. As a Family Law solicitor I have found through experience that it tends to be the cohabiters who need the most help legally, as their relationships fragment more easily. The book does not address this issue. I agree that it should not be made 'easier' by giving cohabiters the same rights but there are many vulnerable people, who need to be made aware that they do not have the same legal rights as a married person. The book concludes that the distinction between cohabitation and marriage is being blurred and that there should be a difference between the two. Marriage has lost the support of government and it is neglected and discredited in the media. There was a report in The Daily Mail on June 16 1999, where the Home Secretary, Jack Straw, was quoted as saying that we 'shouldn't get in a paddy about the decline of formal marriage' and that 'the most important thing is the quality of the relationship, not the institution in itself.' Young adults find little guidance on marriage from peers, parents or schools. Patricia Morgan believes that more information is needed on what makes a relationship happy and lasting. Sarah Johannessen© Evangelicals Now - May 2001 |
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