Lonely without you

Think about those tiny chairs you sat on in infant school. They didn't seem so tiny then.

Now when you see them, don't they bring back memories? Playing in the Wendy house, the colour-coded table system or even stickle bricks? Those very small chairs bring back some great big memories.

For Ruth Archer, those chairs aren't a distant memory. Every Wednesday afternoon, Ruth (international families worker) sits happily on a chair designed for a three year-old. Around her are children from nations all over the world, squabbling over toys, spilling juice, making a tremendous noise and covering themselves in sand and play-doh. Meanwhile, Ruth and the mums that belong to these over-excited little people are attempting an English conversation class.

It's a normal Wednesday afternoon for Ruth who leads a very hectic life as a university library assistant, international families worker and volunteer, elder's wife and mother of two. She has been involved with international work in Guildford since 1985 and is now employed part time by International Student Christian Services in her role as families worker.

At God's disposal

Every year thousands of international students come to Britain to study. Often they are post-graduates staying in England for a couple of years and with them come their wives and children. Back in 1985, Ruth and a handful of people working at the university were welcoming international students independent of any official organisation. When they began to work together, pooling their resources, the international student work grew. Through this, Ruth met many international families and saw their need for friendship while in a strange culture.

When Ruth became pregnant with her first child, she realised that God wanted to make use of her time in serving international families. As soon as the baby was old enough to go out in the push-chair, she began visiting families on campus, with the agreement of the university authorities. Then, with another lady, she started an international coffee morning in a local home. Now with a small team of dedicated volunteers the work continues.

Holistic

International families work is holistic, existing to minister socially through friendship, and psychologically to help families deal with the emotion and anxiety of living in another land and not always speaking the language. Imagine, if you can, the stresses of living in a foreign land. Visits to your home and one to one friendship are very important. Some of the families Ruth meets are the elite in their country. They have never cooked before and always had a nanny for the children. Britain is a shock to their system. Many assume they will hire a nanny when they are here, but cannot pay the prices that we are used to.

One aspect of culture-shock that a Bangladeshi lady had to deal with was our public transport. Never had she had to walk anywhere before! She always had a rickshaw outside her door. The idea of walking to the bus-stop to catch a bus into town was bizarre, to say the least. She wasn't rich by our standards, but in Bangladesh everyone who is well-educated rides in a rickshaw. Culture-shock can also be seen in a new Chinese mum; if she had given birth in China, aunts, grandmas and other female relatives would do all the housework for the first three months. The new mum's priority is the baby alone!

'Rubbish clearing'

The families work also meets practical needs, which is where the English conversation class comes in by doubling up as a mother and toddler creche! Ruth has sometimes been to doctors and dentists to give moral support to ladies who struggle with confidence in a culture so very different from their own. Another provision for practical needs is in representation to university authorities. So far, Ruth has represented families with accommodation problems and campaigned against the closure of the university nursery school, used mainly by international families - many would feel too nervous to speak about such issues in case they caused offence.

Spiritual needs are also high on the agenda. 'Rubbish clearing', Ruth calls it, to change false ideas of Christianity that many people hold. These false ideas have often been taught to them in their home countries. Many internationals assume everything they see in the media is acceptable to Christians because they perceive Britain as a Christian country! Some international families have not heard of Jesus, and with Ruth sowing this seed they are given the opportunity to study the Bible. Inter-national student work is very much geared to evening events, assuming that this is when students are free. This is not the case for international families and having volunteers specifically for families work gives the opportunity to do Bible studies in the day-time, which is the only time the families would have available.

Christian internationals are also made welcome and find help in settling in, from God's family in Britain.

Catering for everyone

Beginning with a coffee morning once a week, the work grew to a full and demanding programme, and needs more volunteers to serve families properly. In 1985, volunteers had contact with about 15 families, now it is more like 50. It is not just student families who are taking advantage of this work; but others who have moved to Britain, hearing of events from many different sources. Events provide a secure environment where families feel accepted and loved for who they are, a place to adjust and which provides the stepping stone of confidence needed.

So many cultures

The big challenge for Ruth is learning to understand so many different cultures. The theory is that you know every belief and culture. We can generalise that a Muslim believes 'ABC' but, like many Christians, it depends on their country and their personality. Ruth muses that 'God has created a very diverse world and I see some of him in every culture.' It opens your eyes to be involved in this sort of ministry.

International families are often overjoyed when somebody knocks on their door to be of assistance in their difficulty, and cannot believe that the people who do this are volunteers, committing their free time to show God's love. Ruth quotes just some of the reactions she has had from those she has met on a doorstep: 'I've never met a Christian before. Could you tell me what you believe?' said one Chinese lady. 'Do Christians have a holy book? Could you get me one in my language so I can read it please?' asked an Indian, and from an Iranian: 'Why do you Christians welcome us and care for us? We are Muslims and we thought Christians would hate us.'

Ruth is still in contact with families that she met ten years ago, and receives emails time and again that say: 'I remember you with great affection, I would have been so lonely without you.' 'It is very humbling', says Ruth, 'we feel so inadequate in what we do, but the smallest things make these ladies feel cared for in an alien land. Jesus called us to share the gospel with all nations, and it is such a privilege to be able to share it here with vulnerable people who really aren't very hard to love!'

Ruth needs more people willing to give time to socialising with international families, and in your church or community there may be the same need that God is asking you to begin meeting.

If you want more information on international work around the country or if you are in the Guildford area and would like to get involved in the established families work there, phone ISCS on 020 8780 3511 and ask to speak to Helen Whitcombe

Ruth Archer tells of her work with overseas families

At God's disposal

Holistic

'Rubbish clearing'

Catering for everyone

So many cultures

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