Run as hard as you can!

It is great when a new family moves into your church fellowship! It is good to get to know people and build new friendships.

Yet such a friendship went on to cause me years of torment, and has left deep scars. In giving my story, I will keep to my own experiences, but it must be very clear that other people have also suffered deeply. I feel it inappropriate to speak for them.

I am an active evangelical Christian, and God has given me many responsibilities. I am a wife, and mother, too, and people would consider us to be a happy family. My husband is a good husband and father.

Great fun

As we both spent time getting to know the incomers in church, we saw obvious needs on a particular occasion, and agreed to take special care of a family. Although there were real problems, I found the man great fun to be with. I just wanted to be of help. At least, I think that is what I thought. From the word go, I found the man attractive.

The attention I received by way of return was very flattering. I had children to care for, a home to run, work to do and it was all very exciting to develop a close friendship with this man. Of course, it was all very innocent and above board. We simply clicked and got on so well, and no harm was being done.

As our friendship developed, we became very close. When I went to bed I began to dream of him. I spent ages thinking about him during the day, when my family really needed my full attention. I began to realise this was wrong, but put off the day when I would deal with it, as I was enjoying it all too much.

But I began to get worried. He was not mine and never could be. My feelings for him were wrong, yet I enjoyed it all so much. Finally, I woke up one day to see that I could not live without him. I felt more for him than for my husband.

Faithful friend

I plucked up enough courage to tell a friend, who was very loving, but very straight in telling me that he had to go right out of my life. She would be praying that somehow he would be removed from me. When I heard those words I felt sheer panic, as I imagined a life I could not cope with. He now meant so much to me that it would be impossible to give him up.

My friend advised me to plead with the Lord to take away my sinful desires, and to ask for strength to be willing to see him go. At first I could not do this. I just asked the Lord over and over again for help. Eventually the Lord helped me to pray for his removal from my life, and that was a real turning point. It seemed as though I was starting to fight back Satan's attack, with God's help. Once I had asked the Lord to take him away, I felt his strength being given to me.

God's grace

We got the news that his work meant there would be a move away, and it was not at all surprising to me. He had to go, and this was the Lord being kind to us all. I still wondered how I would cope, and at times doubted God's sufficiency to keep me sane. By God's grace I was able to say goodbye.

I can thank the Lord that nothing physical ever happened between us, but this made little difference to the seriousness of our sinful friendship. The grief and pain all this brought, and the damage it caused can never be overstated. This shook my life to the very core, and made me utterly miserable. I wish I had never allowed those sinful thoughts of desire to take root. I should have made Satan flee when he tempted me, but I wrongly thought I could play with it for a while and enjoy it.

The pain I endured was immense, but I know Jesus endured the pain of the cross for me, and I am forgiven, praise God. Christian, if Satan ever tempts you in this way, run as hard as you can. Please take my warning and do not allow yourself to play with this fire, or surely you will get burned. Put Jesus first in everything and keep safe at his side.

One woman's experience of temptation

Great fun

Faithful friend

God's grace

Anon

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