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Monthly column for youth leaders: bridging the generation gap

Helping our young people be heard while understanding other views and how we should relate to church leadership

Have you ever tried to match people you know to characters from books or TV programmes? (Just me? Maybe I should get out more.)

The staff team of my church contains good matches for Dad's Army's Captain Mainwaring, Air Raid Warden Hodges and Private Pike (who is probably reading this - Hi, Tim). Rather worryingly, the prevailing view casts me as Walker, the cockney spiv. We have a Corporal Jones in the congregation as well. One of our older and longer standing members, a godly man, consistently finishes prayers and liturgy just after everyone else. With longer prayers, he has been known to lag a whole line behind on occasions.

Recently I discovered that this is no accident. Our friend is of the view that those leading prayers tend to go too fast, and for some time has led a one-man protest at this practice, by saying the prayers at the 'correct' pace, regardless of what the rest of the congregation is doing.

Doing your own thing

Before you get too critical of this man, how easily can we find ourselves adopting similar attitudes? No church is perfect, and I'm sure that there are things that are frustrating and - to our way of thinking - wrong. More than most, young people are likely to get wound up about the way some aspect of church life is organised. The temptation to cut loose and just do our own thing is one which seems attractive. The growth of youth churches in recent years reflects this way of thinking. But is it necessarily the best way forward?

Whatever the frustrations, Church is God's idea, and it is a good one. We may not always make church all it is meant to be, but that doesn't mean that we can abandon it in favour of whatever seems right to us at the time. All the different gifts that God gives the church are to be used for the good of the whole body. And yet we can be tempted to use our gifts selfishly, only for the benefit of people with the same tastes as us.

The stereotype of a church where the young people grumble about the boring stuffy services aimed at the old dobbers, and where the older people grumble about the young people with no sense of reverence, discipline or respect, can often be true. But when all sides start thinking about what everyone needs rather than their own preferences, barriers can start to come down, cross-generational friendships start forming, and God encourages and challenges through the most unlikely combinations.

Fellowship facilitator

In all this, the role of the youth leader can be critical. We may - or may not - agree with out young people. Whatever we feel, it is our role to help them to have their voice heard. At the same time, it is our role to help them to understand other views in the church, again regardless of whether we share those views ourselves.

The easy thing to do is to write off church, and just do your own thing with the young people; to criticise the church leadership and undermine it in their eyes. The mature thing is to remain loving and gracious even - especially - to those with whom you disagree. There is a view in youth work circles that you should just act independently of church leadership rather than keep them informed of your more outrageous plans, trusting that it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Take me to your leader

This is certainly easier, but it is also irresponsible rot. The way you, as a leader, relate with the church leadership, and the way you are seen to relate to it, will have a big impact on the attitudes of your young people. Where there are issues that need to be confronted, then confront them, but never forget that church is God's plan for meeting the needs of all of his people, not just the ones like us.

Sometimes, being a youth leader means being identified by the leadership with unpopular views held by the youth, and simultaneously being identified by the young people with unpopular views held by the old church membership and the leadership. If you can walk this fine line of bridging that gap, and helping each side to understand each other, you probably won't get any recognition for it, but you might just see some fruit.

Steve Couch is happily married.

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<< November 2000 >>