Hidden sorrow, lasting joy

Anneke Companjen is the wife of the president of the Open Doors organisation which was set up by Brother Andrew to help Christians in closed countries.

She has recently written a book entitled, Hidden Sorrow, Lasting Joy that tells the stories of women suffering for the gospel in many lands and the need to support them. Rose Smith interviewed Anneke for EN.

EN: Anneke, what is your background?

AC: I live in the Netherlands. Through Brother Andrew's ministry my husband, Johan, and I dedicated our lives to the Lord while we were still young. We were in Bible college in England and then went to Vietnam as missionaries. In 1975 we had to be evacuated when the North Vietnamese took over the South and Vietnam became a Communist country. Soon after we got home Brother Andrew asked us to join the work of Open Doors because Vietnam had, of course, become a closed country.

EN: How did the work progress from there?

AC: The major part of Johan's ministry since then has been travelling with Brother Andrew. So I often found myself at home looking after our three children. That could be quite lonely. One night, while I was on my own, I had a special experience. I was sleepless and dreadfully miserable. I felt my gifts were being buried. Usually when I felt low I prayed for people. That often helped, but on this occasion it didn't. Somehow in the midst of all this I felt the Lord telling me that he would use what I was feeling that night to empathise with other women who feel pain.

Forgotten wife

EN: So what happened next?

AC: Nothing immediately, but a few years after that we heard a very sad story from Vietnam. We knew that one of our friends - a pastor from an ethnic minority had been taken to prison soon after the communist take-over. He spent 13 years in a camp. We did hear reports now and then from refugees who managed to come out, and he was still following the Lord and leading others to Christ. And wherever my husband spoke around the world he would ask for prayer for this pastor.

But none of us knew what was happening with his wife, K'Sup Nri. No one could visit her. We prayed for him, but did not pray so much for her.

EN: What had happened to her?

AC: We did not know her story until about 10 years after he was arrested. They were living in a refugee camp when we first met them. But after the take-over all refugees had been sent back to their villages. He was taken to prison and she never heard anything about him.

K'Sup Nri went back to her village with their one small child and she was expecting another baby. She was living with her parents. She had to work the fields. She was very poor and life was extremely difficult.

Then a young communist man befriended her. She was still only 25 or 26. He told her that her husband would never come back. No one had ever come back from the camps. 'So,' he told her, 'why don't you marry me. I love you and if you marry me your troubles will be over. You will not have to work so hard and I will take care of your family.'

At first she resisted. She felt God had left her. She had a deep spiritual struggle. But then word came that her husband had died in the camp and in despair she gave in and married the communist. But a year after she remarried, she heard news that it wasn't her husband who had died but his brother! She could not handle it. She felt that she had in fact been manipulated by the communists to try to get at her husband and she ended up committing suicide.

EN: What effect did that have on you?

AC: When I heard the story I felt as if we were doing something wrong in Open Doors. We were looking after the brothers in prison, but by comparison we had forgotten their wives. That changed something deeply in my heart. I felt compelled to start sharing the burden for the forgotten women in persecuted countries with other people in Open Doors. My husband saw the vision and as our children have grown up I started to travel with him and have done my best to meet with the women in many countries. After one trip, I had heard so much and my heart was so full, I just sat down at my computer and began to write. I felt their stories must be heard.

Many pressures

EN: As you travelled, what particular pressures did you find on women in countries where there is persecution?

AC: Some have lost their husbands. Some are the wife of a man in prison. Some are married to people who are constantly under threat. Some are understandably fearful.

For the widows it is picking up the pieces when your husband has been killed and you are left. There is a grieving process to go through. But it is encouraging to hear after their lives have been devastated like this, how the Lord has brought them through it and how they are now being used to help others. I have often wondered where I would be if something happened to my husband. But through talking to these women I can see that if God can do it for them he could do it for me if need be.

I know one Chinese woman who was 22 years alone while her husband was in prison. But her relationship with the Lord carried her through.

One older woman and her husband, whose church is not registered with the Chinese government, are picked up every time there is an important visitor from the West who has come to check up on religious freedom. They spend nights in the police station because the authorities know that these older people would speak out.

EN: How do such pressures affect the Christians?

AC: Often there is actually a joy that really is apparent. The Lord is no one's debtor. I saw the reality of that in these people. They looked happier and more content than many old people I see in old people's homes in Holland. This is so encouraging.

Another night in jail

EN: What about the younger generation in China?

AC: There are lots of younger women in the Chinese church. If your husband is working for the house churches you can never be sure he won't be arrested. The sentences are a lot shorter than they used to be. You rarely hear now of husbands being sent to prison for 20 years. It is often just a few months or a couple of years. But the wives are anxious.

About 70% of the Chinese church is female, which means that many of the women are married to unbelievers. Domestic violence is a big problem in China generally, so, as you can imagine, it is often a problem for a woman who has become a believer against her husband's will. Violence in the home is so common that even in serious cases where the neighbours call the police, the police rarely do anything, as they say that if they arrested all the men who beat their wives half of China would be in prison.

EN: What is the situation in Muslim countries?

AC: That continues to be very difficult. It is especially difficult for single girls who come to faith in Christ. In Muslim lands marriages are arranged and often their families will marry such girls off to a Muslim husband. And the families never forget. Even 40 years after conversion to Christ you can still never be sure that the family will not be after you to have you killed.

All over the world I meet women who find our concern over persecution somewhat surprising. 'Isn't this just what the Bible told us would happen?' is their attitude.

In their shoes

EN: How do you feel your life has changed by meeting such women?

AC: My life has changed very much. When I started writing the book I thought that they needed to be heard, their stories had to be told. But as I wrote they had such an impact on me.

When I am tempted to let circumstances overcome me and make me depressed, then I think of these women. I especially think of one who says, 'Looking to Jesus. That's what carries me through.' I think to myself, 'My husband isn't killed, and my circumstances are far easier by comparison'. I need to make a decision of the will to look to Jesus in my situation.

Maybe I don't have to try to forgive the people who killed my husband, like some women. But I have to forgive just the same on a lesser level. All of us find ourselves treated unjustly and we have to face the same choices. Do we choose to forgive or do we get bitter?

Sometimes, even in our Western society, I have been made to feel that because I am a woman, I don't count. And when that happens I think about a woman in a Muslim country who received 20 lashes when her husband was sentenced. But she refused to let herself become nothing. I visited her. She looked good. Her simple house was orderly and clean. There was a great dignity about her.

So these women continue to teach me profound lessons. And the great encouragement is that we serve the same God. If God can be real in their circumstances, he can be real to me.

Anneke's book, Hidden Sorrow, Lasting Joy, is published by Hodder & Stoughton on September 7, at £7.99, ISBN 0 340 75675 6.